


Aisle 12

by xxELF21xx



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, M/M, One (1) Sexual Inneundo, rated T for potty mouths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25824589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxELF21xx/pseuds/xxELF21xx
Summary: He just wanted to get some eggs.
Relationships: Ookido Green | Blue Oak & Red, Ookido Green | Blue Oak/Red
Comments: 12
Kudos: 76





	Aisle 12

**Author's Note:**

> im feeling awful so have some crack

Get some eggs, Mom said. They won’t be difficult to find, she reassured.

 _Well_ , Red grumbles, now forever lost in the giant supermarket, _where the fuck are the eggs??_ They weren’t near the cashiers, where he remembered they were not so long ago, and they weren’t near the rice and cold section, like Mom had previously mentioned. Sighing, he contemplates searching up for the supermarket’s map and navigating his way through with humiliation. 

But no, because he’s a stubborn idiot. 

Looking up at the boards hung across the spacious ceilings, he walks aimlessly down rows upon rows of food -- since when was there a _Kalosian_ section? -- shame and frustration unfurling from its slumber deep inside him as he resists the temptation to seek the help he so desperately needed. 

A staff member pushing a string of carts near him, prompting him to dart into aisle 12 -- _Pokemon Foods --_ and stumbles upon a sight he wants no part in. 

Crouched near the teething toys was Viridian City’s Gym Leader, the holder of the Earth Badge, strongest of all Gym Leaders, Bruno’s Pride and Joy(?), genius researcher, ex-Champion, grandson of the Pokemon Professor Samuel Oak -- Green Oak.

Red doesn’t think anyone could turn around and exit the aisle as fast as he could.

But he _sees_ it: the stack of glorious eggs his Mom had sent him out in the middle of the night for. Right next to the crying Gr-- _man._

Fuck.

He has two options: 

**One.** Pretend there was nobody crying in aisle 12 and grab a tray of eggs, skedaddle really fast. (Preferred option)   
**Two.** Probably give Green therapy and _then_ get the tray of eggs, ( _Not_ preferred).

Neither of those options left a good impression on him, if Red was to be totally honest. 

Green’s quiet sniffles have magnified into whimpers by this point, and _that_ leaves an even more ~~perverted~~ unsavoury impression on him. 

Completely discarding his safe haven of the first option -- which thereby makes him an asshole, and he can _visualise_ tomorrow’s headline of **_KANTO CHAMPION BREAKS UP DEVASTATINGLY WITH BELOVED VIRIDIAN CITY GYM LEADER IN GROCER’S AISLE 12_** even though the both of them were single and he was certainly _not_ ready to mingle -- Red summons up what little courage he has and discards any pride as he crouches in between the eggs and Green, awkwardly patting the other man’s head. 

Maybe if Red bought out the whole aisle, Green would stop crying.

If anything, Red made the whole situation even worse. Green starts flat out sobbing into his chest. Several night shoppers stop and glance into the aisle, whispering and pointing, probably villainising him for making their Gym Leader cry, so he continues his awkward patting. 

Soon enough, he’s managed to pry a few words out of Green. It’s all a mess of snot more than words, but he’s able to piece together Green’s meltdown over teething toys, and how his Arcanine is a dad now and he’s a grandpa and _Oh Arceus I’m not fucking ready to be grandpa do I have to quit smoking and drinking I don’t even smoke or drink???????_ all the while clutching onto what’re probably the ugliest teething toys to ever exist.

Eventually, they leave the supermarket sans eggs nor teething toys, Green tuckered out from crying and Red experiencing emotional whiplash seven times in the span of ten minutes. 

He gets scolded for failing to get eggs -- ‘my disappointment isn’t that immeasurable but my day has been ruined, Red. How am I supposed to make tea eggs?’ -- and crawls into bed still awkward and slightly disturbed. 

**_KANTO CHAMPION BREAKS UP DEVASTATINGLY WITH BELOVED VIRIDIAN CITY GYM LEADER IN GROCER’S AISLE 12!_ **

Red buys out the whole aisle and pens Green’s name for the delivery.

**Author's Note:**

> red hasnt been to the supermarket since he was like, 6  
> hes lying


End file.
